Stop stressing and be mindful

Stress. It is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as ‘a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.’ And I think that many of us can safely say we experience stress on a regular basis. Whether you’re getting stressed on the bus about being late for work, or you’re already stressing you won’t have enough money for all the Christmas presents, stress can impact us all. Unfortunately stress isn’t just that nagging voice in our head, or that stomach-churning feeling, it physically affects the mind and the body, and can have a big impact on our overall health and wellbeing.


But don’t fret, I’m not here to stress you out about the fact you’re already stressed, that won’t help anyone. What I’d like to offer is some advice about how to handle stress. I know from first-hand experience how it feels when it all gets too much, and you feel like the world is crumbling around you, but there are ways you can help yourself and overcome your stress.

First of all, if you’re feeling stressed, the worst thing you can do is let go of the steering wheel. This is your life and you’re always in control. In the 1950’s, a psychologist called Julian Rotter developed his ideas, and formulated experiments around what is known as ‘locus of control’. This concept was, and still is, considered to be a very important aspect of an individual’s personality, as it refers to that individual’s perception about whether they can control the events that affect their lives. Those who have an internal locus of control believe they are in control of their lives, and those with an external locus of control believe their lives are controlled by external factors they cannot influence, like chance or fate. Now, statistically speaking, those with an internal locus of control i.e. those who believe they are in control, generally lead happier lives. It is difficult to change the way you think about things, but it’s not impossible. Start with small steps, maybe when you’re feeling stressed write a list of your achievements or accomplishments. This will allow you some time to reflect on what you have earned and how you earned these things, and you will realise, you never achieved anything by chance, you achieved your goals by working hard!

Another way to help us deal with stress is to teach ourselves to be more mindful. Put simply, mindfulness is being aware of ourselves and what’s going on around us in the present. The idea is that if we are focusing on what is happening now, if we are fully present in the present moment, we are not fretting about the past or the future. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense! I can’t be the only one who sits there and lets their mind wonder, and when I do this I’ll feel regret or embarrassment about things I did last month, or I’ll worry about whether I’ll have enough money to pay my bills next month, and I spend far too much time worrying about the time and about other people’s opinions of me, it’s all so unnecessary.

If you’d like to be more mindful, I’d say the easiest way to begin would be to start meditating. Many of us, myself included, feel stressed and depressed at times, and meditation has helped me greatly. I actually started by going to guided Buddhist meditations at a small Buddhist Centre where I live in Plymouth, it was really interesting, despite not being a Buddhist I was welcome and the sessions I went to were a mixture of Buddhist teachings and meditative practice, which was really educational and helpful. However if you wanted to start meditating independently I’d highly recommend an app called ‘Headspace’, which Emma Watson called ‘kind of genius.’ When you download the app you get a total of 10 guided meditations, which are all roughly 10 minutes long. The general idea is that most people can find a spare 10 minutes in their day, and if you feel that you can’t, maybe you should make 10 minutes to enable you to quieten down and de-stress.  This is a really great little app, and if you find that it helps you, and you do really like it, you are able to purchase additional guided meditations within the app.

It has been scientifically proven that the adverse effects of stress have a greater impact on women than they do on men. But if we can motivate ourselves and each other, and give ourselves just 10 minutes a day to let our minds rest, we can live in the present moment and the power that stress has over us can be drastically decreased. Now all I need to do is learn to take my own advice.